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...(T)he promises of fall have little to do with temperature. I see it first in the quality of light. Shadows grow longer, and the light softens and seems to show a pale orange tint....

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...The trouble with golf is that people look at you when you swing. They ought to have the decency to avert their eyes. But instead they watch, and when you top the ball and it bounces out yonder 30 feet from the tee, they tell you not to worry about it. When what they are saying to themselves is, "Oh boy, it's gonna be a long morning."

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You see this dog, snoring here by my foot? That's my friend Max, a yellow Lab. Three years old. He's no Rhodes scholar but he compensates for this lack of intelligence with an overdose of the characteristic that governs his life: He's a pluperfect optimist....

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...A washer will, in fact, make socks disappear, just as you have heard. Furthermore, it can make missing socks reappear if it wants to. And a dryer can top a washer. A dryer can reproduce socks. I mean it can take a single sock and clone it and make a pair. I have proved these things....

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...I can't watch TV with my son if he is in control of the zapper. Because he watches four or five channels at once, and zaps constantly from one to the other, and it makes me batty.... But my father? He would dearly love that channel switching. He used to do it on the radio. He listened to the radio with one hand on the tuning dial, and wandered from station to station, and I think that for him it was a way of traveling, being forever on the move from one place to another.

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